Hey friends, family and followers! I’m so excited to tell you that I have an essay coming out in an anthology called Mommie Diarist! It is a collection of stories about motherhood; the good, the bad, and the just plain honest. I know several of the contributors, and their writing is stunning. It is an honor to be in their company. My essay is called Sun and Moon, and here is a brief excerpt:
“Back home, things still weren’t going so well. I wasn’t getting along very well in my dad’s house. I was retreating into depression and anger and the void of abandonment. Dark makeup, dark clothes, dark thoughts and feelings. My dad and stepmom had the good judgment to put me into counseling, where I was able to sort through some of the mess in my heart.
At one point my counselor encouraged me to tell my mom how angry I was with her, and amazingly I did that during a phone call one evening. I don’t remember much of what she said, but I do remember that she listened, and didn’t tell me I shouldn’t feel that way.
There was another evening during that period when I had a memorable phone call with my mother. It was during the first Gulf War. I remember sitting on the counter in my dad’s kitchen, and it was mostly dark, and while I talked to my mom the TV was on low with images of rockets and tanks and desert in the background.
She said she had been in a fight with her boyfriend, and that he had hit her. It happened outside a joint where they’d been to hear music, and some of the musicians who were friends of hers ran out and restrained him. Ultimately, they ran him out of town. Mom said she was coming to stay for a while and that she needed to be around people who loved her. I said something like, “that’s good, I love you,” and hung up the phone.
I was shocked. Someone had dared hit my mother? In the way of children, I thought my mother was untouchable. Who could even reach her up there on the pedestal I’d built for her? I hated him passionately and suddenly. And then I got mad at her. Who was she to come back whenever she felt like it because she needed to be loved? Didn’t my brother and I need to be loved? Didn’t we need her to shelter us and tell us we were good and smart and worthy? But we couldn’t get that whenever we felt like it. We had to wait for her to choose to come give it to us.”
Are you curious about the rest of the story? I hope so! This essay is exclusive to Mommie Diarist, and will only be available to read if you order the book. It WILL NOT be here on the blog! Soooo….please support this lovely book and these lovely writers and find out what the rest of my tale is! Here are the links to pre-order:
Barnes and Noble link