I tried to adopt a cat recently. It didn’t go so well. Read the story here:
We were turned down for adoption because someday, our cat MIGHT go outside. And IF our cat goes outside, there MIGHT be a coyote. Maybe.
It started me thinking about “might”s.
I had a conversation with a girlfriend last week about having a really difficult time living in the present. It’s been going on for a couple of months, I think. Since just before my first trip to Florida to see my Aunt Marcia and those nerve-wracking plane flights. I guess as part of my grieving process I’m experiencing heightened anxiety over just about everything. I imagine all sorts of things that can go wrong. Things on the bus or at Lucy’s school. Things with Eden when she’s in her car or at her boyfriend’s ranch or things with Allen when he’s driving with distractions. Every twinge and minor illness is a sign that I’m dying or that I’m somehow on a fast track to falling apart. It’s exhausting to be on the lookout for disaster all the time.
My friend Anne is an insightful lady, with actual professional experience with people who are anxious or depressed or grief-stricken. So walking through some of that with her was helpful. It’s good to get the words out of your head and your body.
Oddly, this cat adoption debacle has also been helpful. I started to get really angry that the woman in charge of the adoptions was turning us down because of something that was unlikely to happen, and certainly was not happening now. She was denying our sweet kitty a loving home because she was living in a future that she was making up.
I realized that I have also been living in a made-up future. I MIGHT get really sick one day, or I MIGHT get struck by lightning, or I MIGHT get into an accident in the HEB parking lot, or I might be the victim of a break-in or I might sink on a cruise ship. I just don’t know. What I do know is that I have a beautiful, safe home for a cat, my health is fine, I’m not out with a golf club in a rainstorm and I have no plans to take a cruise. So I think finally, I may be seeing the end of my case of the “might”s.
In that spirit, listen to this and have a happier day: