Humor, Husband, My Kids, Myself, Uncategorized
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The Straight Poop

I will resume the chronological story of discovering L’s developmental delays and the different stops on that journey, but that may take several posts and there will probably be current situation posts like this interspersed throughout that story.This week L started a new preschool.  Essentially it is the special education preschool for  our district and getting into was a real process.  We are really hoping it is going to be awesome; she will get speech, physical and occupational therapy on a daily basis, and also normal preschool stuff like learning colors and numbers and things like that.  We are on day 3.

Day 1 started auspiciously at the crack of dawn.  A, L and I all got up before it was light out and literally, before the damned rooster next door had even begun to crow.  L was really excited.  I’m pretty sure that even though we had been talking about a “new school” and “new teachers” and “new friends”, that she thought she was going back to her old preschool.  So she was pumped.  She ate a bunch of banana and yogurt (and if you’re wondering about our GFCF diet then someday I will talk about the pros of fermented dairy, which I’m still looking into) and took her vitamins and could not have been more excited.  It was raining outside, so we left early expecting the commute to be more of a challenge due to the inclement weather.  L chattered up the hill and then got kind of quiet in the backseat.  

A:  I think she’s pooping.
M:  Ugh. Ok.

I was wondering how we would change her at the new school.  It stayed pretty quiet and when I looked back, L had her fingers in her mouth.

A:  I think she’s going to barf.  I don’t think her vitamins are agreeing with her.
M:  Seriously?
L:  Blaaaaaarrrhhhh!!!!!!!!

She did barf.  All over her cute first-day-of-school outfit.  All over her carseat.  All over the backseat. So we had a kid with a diaper full of crap and covered in puke.  I pulled over into a gas station to get some cover.

We stripped our kid down at that gas station in the rain and cleaned everything up.  Fortunately I always travel with a spare set of clothes.  We wiped down the car and the carseat, covered it up with a towel and headed to school.  L was happy as a clam once she got those vitamins out.

Drop-off went okay.  I think L was mostly confused, so she wasn’t terribly traumatized.  The next two days were tougher on her.  Anyhow, the carseat was demolished so after a hasty shower at home I headed to Toys R Us to procure another seat.  I got to L’s school, yanked it out of the box and wrestled it into my backseat.  Installation took 20 minutes and both of my pocketknives.  I’m pretty sure I pulled a groin muscle.  It was the stupidest morning ever.

So yesterday we had higher hopes. We pulled up the hill and again…silence followed by a quiet, “Uuuunnnhh.”  L pooped on the road again.  We were getting really familiar with the Circle K parking lot.  Today…you guessed it.  More road poop.  I think the car must really relax her.  Unfortunately, we can’t wait around at home for her to take care of business.  Looks like this is now a part of our daily routine.  If you see a white car on the side of the road at 7:30 a.m. and two exhausted-looking people mopping up a tiny white butt, that’s us.   Give us a honk.  We will appreciate the moral support.

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